Conflict Resolution

Most Australian Jews (and Israelis) are either 1^st generation citizens or new immigrants. The significant majority of the American Jewish community is 2^nd or 3^rd generation. Their bond with America strengthened by the belief that it is a safe haven from European pogroms. Anti -Semitic restrictions on daily life and religious freedom. Of course we are only talking about relative safety and relative acceptance. The United States at least (talked the talk) spoke the language of inclusion and it even walked the walk (albeit with a heavy limp).

So our F of R [i] is based on the influences on our life and these are very often by choice, but not always. Theoretically each of us can examine all options and influences in every situation, match it up with our general knowledge and make the connections (e.g. Mother says don’t go out with wet hair, but doctor says it makes no difference. I either listen to the doctor, or wear a hat, if only to make Mum happy). Most don’t and some can’t. Some choose not to choose and are happy with what they’re presented with.

Are we indoctrinated? Invariably yes. Often it is hard to see outside the box and this can be either imposed or chosen.  It is a little “1984”ish.  So what does it all mean?

Frames of References being what they are can only create a subjective and not an objective view of a situation.  This means there is no right or wrong, no black or white; just opinions and various shades of grey; the world is made up of facts and then opinion. Weight of opinion usually wins, but does not necessarily imply that right won, just that the majority prevailed (arguably the weakness of democracy). The inability to accept this basic premise makes cooperation difficult.

We need to learn to walk in the blind man’s shoes.  As an example, May 15 1948 is celebrated by Israeli Jews as Independence days, while Palestinians mark the day as Al Nachbar, the Tragedy. Are either right or wrong? More to the point, does it really matter? Peace and cooperation come with an understanding of the others position, not in order to exploit it, but in order to further the understanding between parties.

Of course that is not to say that there is no legitimacy to either side’s arguments, but that those need to be put aside once it has been decided that the way forward is together. Going forward together doesn’t necessarily mean in harmony, just in understanding. I believe this approach central to all conflict resolution.

---

[i] Frame Of Reference